by Jenny Jones

Briefly — because I will not waste anymore time on this movie — Bruno is the story of a flamboyantly gay TV host in Austria (played by Sacha Baron Cohen) who is fired from his job and black listed from the fashion world he loves. As a result, Bruno loses his long time lover and celebrity stature. In an attempt to regain the fame and popularity that he had become accustomed too, Bruno travels to Los Angeles and tries a number of “get rich quick” schemes but fails miserably at them all. He even goes so far as to try to reject his homosexuality and turn himself straight but it is only by embracing his gayness that Bruno finds true love, happiness and success. Sounds like a fairytale doesn’t it?

My mother always told me that if I didn’t have anything nice to say not to say anything at all, but in this case I think I’ll make an exception. What an idiotic waste of time this movie was. Sacha Baron Cohen IS a funny guy and he DOES create some extremely funny skits and characters but whoever keeps allowing him to write, produce and star in these crappy movies should be very ashamed of himself and must be stopped now so that I will not be subjected to a third installment of Sacha’s films.

His first film, “Borat”, although distasteful and offensive to everyone, was at least somewhat humourous. I am not condoning the crude and mocking behavior that Cohen exhibited in “Borat” but I do have to admit that it made me laugh at times. This latest film however only made me cringe and shudder in complete horror and utter disgust. Cohen’s parody of the homosexual lifestyle and the desire to be rich and famous went way beyond acceptable ridicule. His extremely vulgar language and offensive behavior in this movie felt like a desperate attempt to force laughter out of the audience instead of earning it through cleverly written dialogue or well choreographed scenes. There was absolutely nothing enjoyable about this movie. I could not wait for it to finish and at only 82 minutes, it felt like it would never end. The one positive remark that I can make about this movie is that, with all of the unpleasant scenes of sexuality and nudity displayed by Cohen and his pals, I am extremely grateful that I did not have to watch it in HD. This is definitely one movie that I can guarantee will not get a second viewing… EVER!

3/10

by Jenny Jones

Lena is a teenage idol at her high school in East L. A. She is drop dead gorgeous, the captain of the school’s cheerleading squad and hopes to take them all the way to the Spirit Championships this year (the most sought after title by cheerleading squads everywhere). Everything in Lena’s life is perfect until her mother marries a rich, white widow from Malibu. Suddenly Lena is forced to leave her close friends behind, transfer schools in the middle of the year and move in with her mother’s new hubby and his nerdy daughter, Sky. To make matters worse Lena finds herself in the middle of a cat fight with Avery, the Barbie-like queen of the Malibu high school. And to add further insult, she is falling in love with Avery’s brother Evan, who is the most popular guy in the entire school. Will Lena run back to East L. A. and the safety of her old home girls, or will she stay and challenge Avery to a cheerleading showdown and fight for the man she wants?

Are you at all interested to know what happens to Lena and her friends? I was not, so I found it difficult to sit through. However, if you enjoyed the dance-off duels of the first 4 “Bring it on” movies you may be quite pleased with this latest installment. Be prepared for the same “Jonas Brothers” type dance tunes and overacted, over dramatic teenage bickering, corniness and immaturity.

Two minutes into this movie I groaned “Oh my God” out loud, only to have my ten year old son respond with “Yay, this movie is totally awesome!” I was caught off guard by his reaction and decided to just sit silently for the rest of the film and simply observe my kids. They absolutely adored it! The constant teenage back talking, one-liners and spontaneous song singing and dance routines drew them in and kept them totally captivated for the entire hour and 43 minutes. They even stood up at certain parts and danced around the living room. Who knew?

Whereas, the Mickey Mouse Club meets Beverley Hills 90210 is totally not for me, it definitely appeals to the younger crowd. This was not the type of movie I would ever sit down and watch on my own, but if I am ever looking for some entertainment for the younger members of the family I’ll know exactly what to reach for.

5.5 / 10

by Jenny Jones

Before I offer my review of this movie I must confess I have not seen any of the first 3 installments of this series so I do not have any basis for comparison. Therefore I can not say if this latest addition to the “Fast & Furious” movies is any better or worse then its predecessors. But what I can tell you is that it is definitely a man’s movie! Chalked full of bad guys brandishing heavy artillery, massive sound effects, techno tunes, corny jokes… oh and don’t forget the many strategically placed “tit’n'ass” shots. This movie is not what I would call “artistic cinema” but is without a doubt 100% entertaining.

It is obvious that the characters and plot do not matter much in this type of movie so I will keep the breakdown short and sweet.

Officer Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) and Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) are back as the “good guy” fugitive and “bad boy” cop chasing down drug dealers and murderers at maximum speeds. This time they are teaming up to avenge the death of a loved one and run into a little “resistance” along the way.

That is pretty much all you need to know in the way of a story line. Just strap in, crank that system and get ready for some in your face, balls-to-the-walls action & excitement! And action aside let us not forget that the cast of characters is gorgeous and therefore quite enjoyable to look at no matter what they are saying or doing. Vin Diesel for us older chicks and Paul Walker for you youngsters out there. And don’t worry guys, there is plenty of eye candy for you too, including a little girl on girl… well I won’t ruin it for you… just watch it!

What you get with this movie is all of the typical cliches of a bad boy action film all rolled into one. Including (but not limited to) tight muscular bodies squeezed into revealing clothing, big bad explosions, massive gun fire, revving engines, smoking tires, crazy driving stunts and cheesy one-liners. “Thank you sir, may I have another?”

6.5 / 10

by Jenny Jones

Since the release of “Night Shift” in 1982 Ron Howard has continued to bless us with one enjoyable film after another. “Splash”, “Cocoon”, “Ransom”, “Apollo 13″ and now “Frost/Nixon”. Based on the play by Peter Morgan, this Hollywood rendition of the historic interviews between British TV performer David Frost and former U.S. President Richard M. Nixon was a delightfully entertaining surprise.
If there is any hesitation to see this movie because of the boring/political subject matter let me assure you that this is not even an issue. This cast of extremely gifted actors makes the film focus more on the intense emotion and drama surrounding this historic event then on the details of the interview itself. What the characters are saying becomes secondary to how they are saying it, and this group of talented men says it with passion and conviction.

Frank Langella is brilliant as President Nixon. He makes him such an intriguing character and I found myself hanging on his every word eager to see what he would say next. The empathy that Langella made me feel for this man that I never knew or cared about was shocking. To portray a man with so much power as being so utterly sad and lonely made me feel a whole new respect for the actor as well as for the man he was representing. Equally impressive was Michael Sheen’s depiction of TV host David Frost. With his every facial expression you could not only see, but feel his character’s pain and joy. And let’s not forget Kevin Bacon, Oliver Platt (who is always fabulous) and Sam Rockwell. All three may have played minor roles in this film but this did not make them any less memorable ones. It is so refreshing to see a movie with deep character development, an interesting plot and exceptional attention to detail. Even the musical score provided by Hans Zimmer (who can never do wrong) was entirely captivating and heightened the feelings of awkwardness and suspense throughout the movie.

Yes, I would say Ron Howard has created yet another success with “Frost/Nixon”. He took 12 hours of subject matter that would otherwise have been slow-moving, complicated and boring and turned it into a short and sweet, witty, easy to follow, entertaining reflection on an important part of American history.

7.5 / 10

by Jenny Jones

After all the hype made about this movie, I was extremely disappointed when I finally sat through the entire thing. If Stephen Schaefer of The Boston Herald truly believes that this is “The best of the year’s animated movies…” then this must have been the only one he saw. Though its creators had good intentions of instilling valuable morals and positive behaviors in our children, it attempted to convey too many messages at once, became far too complicated and ended up being one of the worst animated movies I have watched with my children in a while.

Based on the 2003 award winning children’s fantasy book written by Kate DiCamillo, The Tale of Despereaux is supposed to be the story of a little mouse with Dumbo-like ears who stands out from all the other mice, not only because of his appearance, but more so because of his courageous behavior and passion for knowledge. Originally told as 4 short stories that all come together in the final book, the movie seems to have done what all Hollywood adaptations tend to do, which is to deviate too much from the original plot. The end result was a choppy narrative that involved far too many secondary characters, too many sub-stories and became very difficult for viewers (especially children) to follow. It ended up feeling too long and ultimately we were all so lost in the meaningless details that we became bored.

Like all good fairytales, The Tale of Despereaux begins with “Once upon a time…” The opening scene with all of it’s hustle and bustle of intimately drawn characters and an all star cast of voices including Dustin Hoffman, Matthew Broderick, Tracy Ullman, Emma Watson and Kevin Kline (just to name a few) sets the stage for what could have been a wonderfully magical story of chivalry and honor. Unfortunately the movie seemed to focus more on the life events of the secondary character, Chairoscuro the rat, rather then on that of our main character, Despereaux.

In summary, The Tale of Despreeaux was the story of a rat, a brave little mouse, a princess and a bowl of soup. No wait, it was the story of an ugly, jealous village girl abandoned and then reunited with her estranged father. Well, then again it could have been the story of a heart broken king and his ban of all soup in the kingdom and his order to kill all the rats in the town of Dor. Or, maybe it was really about the underlying environmental impact of what happens when you remove all creatures of one species from their ecosystem. Who cares? It just became too hard to follow the number of complicated stories and messages that were weaving through this movie. Furthermore, for a fairytale there were very little exciting action scenes, no sword fights, duels, knights on horseback, witches, goblins, or interesting little woodsy characters. I found myself, and eventually my children, quickly losing interest.

For what it is worth, I found the animation of Roscuro and Despereaux to be absolutely outstanding. Their every twitch and smirk was captured perfectly. However the rest of the cast of characters were unremarkable and seemed emotionless. If you are going to watch The Tale of Despereaux be prepared for cutesy wootsie but not very much else.

The only element of this movie that I found truly enchanting was Sigourney Weaver’s voice as narrator. Every time she spoke I was completely enthralled in her every word. Unfortunately the story itself was just too complicated, too choppy, too boring and too long.

5.5 / 10